From Our Pastor: Embracing the Sacred Call of Marriage and Family Life
This weekend’s readings speak of Marriage. The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is a beautiful vocation to live. The word “vocation” comes from the word vocare, which means “to call.” It is a calling by the Lord. Most people don’t realize this. They think of priesthood or religious life as a calling, but do not realize that marriage is as well. This means that God should be the one guiding you into that life.
Long before you even meet someone or date someone, you should ask yourself, “What is God calling me to?” Is it married life? Is it priesthood? Is it religious life? Is it consecrated life? If it is married life He is calling you to, then ask the Lord to guide you to your future spouse. Pray for them now, long before you meet them. Pray for them to be holy, chaste, loving, and faithful. Pray for them to be self-disciplined and self-controlled. Then, start working on yourself to be all those things as well.
Ask God to guide you together. Date only people you think you could spend the rest of your life with. Date someone with attractive personality traits and faithfulness, not just attractive looks. Don’t keep dating just because it’s comfortable—date to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Add prayer into your dating life. Make Mass a part of your dating life. Make God a part of your relationship as soon as possible if you think you could spend your life with this person. Pray for them, and pray with them.
And remember, before you plan the wedding—before you pick a date, before you pick a reception venue, or before you have everything picked out in your mind—talk to the Church and the priest. Make sure your plan fits the Church instead of expecting the Church to adapt to your plan. If the Church says no to something for your wedding, there is a reason and a good one. Submit to the Church instead of your own personal desires. Remember, we get married in Churches, not chapels. It’s a precept of the Church to follow the Church’s guidance on marriage. We get married before the living God, truly present in the Eucharist—not outside, in a barn, or wherever. The wedding day is important, and the Church wants it to be something that lasts, not just for that day, but for life.
We need holy marriages. Always work to strengthen your marriage. Your marriage comes first. It doesn’t come before God, as He should be the first in your marriage, but it comes before your children. It comes before your work. It comes before leisure. If your marriage is properly cared for and strong, your children will be properly cared for and loved. Keep the Lord and Mass at the center of your marriage throughout your life. Strive to be the holiest version of yourself for the other. Pray for each other during the marriage, and pray with each other throughout your marriage.
I want to speak briefly on divorce. Divorce does not separate you from the sacraments or the Church. Divorce hurts everyone, but there is help. We have a great group called Divorce and Beyond. Be brave and come and see. Pray during this time of hurt. Come talk to the priest after your divorce to find healing and ask questions soon after about an annulment. Don’t wait. Find healing in the Church, in her community, in her priests, and in prayer. The Lord loves you.
Lastly, it is no surprise that in a discussion on marriage, Jesus speaks of children. He says, “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them.” Pray for children. Be open to children. Get the contraceptive mentality of our world out of your lives and marriages. Learn Natural Family Planning. It is very successful and holy. As you welcome children, get them baptized right away. Don’t wait. Don’t prevent them from coming to that relationship with Jesus. Give them the greatest gift you can in their lives quickly, which is that relationship with the Lord in baptism.
And lastly, but definitely not least, bring them to Mass. Sit up front—they want to see. We love the joy that kids bring to the community. Bring them to be in the presence of Jesus as often as possible, right away, and always. May Christ be the center of our lives, our marriages, and our families.
- Rev. Steven Arisman